Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes." They will say, "Women don't have what it takes." ~Clare Boothe Luce

      SO.... I work at The Home Depot and as a female I've found it's very hard to get respect. I never thought it would be, being 2010 and all, but turns out it is.  Most customers who come in, not just male customers females as well, feel as if  the girls who work in the store are only cashiers, and refer to us as cashiers and not as associates in a given department. Another example is that when I am stocking the department shelves and lifting boxes, using a box cutter or trying to move around the orange ladders male customers will ask me if I need help doing it, which would be fine if i were struggling. Most of the time they say it in a tone like, "oh sweet little fragile girl obviously you cannot handle this situation yourself and need the aid of a man, here let me take this duty over and make your life a bit easier." Usually they don't give me time to answer.... so I just let them, because I cant be rude to the customers.
    Those examples are just small instances where I am made to feel inadequate at my job; but the thing that really gets me more than anything is when I am helping a customer in my department with something I do know, and they doubt my knowledge and ask me if there is a male associate that could help them instead.  I have two examples of when this has happened to me, but I am very aware that this has happened to many of the women I work with and at other stores as well.
          EXAMPLE #1: I have always worked in the paint department even though I was never technically a paint associate until this October when I switched stores. This means I have almost three years of experience in paint and in the store in general.  One day at my old store a male customer in his mid 40s maybe was explaining that he moved into an older house where the walls were just Lath and Plaster. He was convinced I had no idea what that meant even though I had made it clear that I do in fact know exactly what he was talking about.
                  Lath and Plaster is a technique used in older houses mainly before the 1950s when drywall took its place. Laths are narrow strips of wood placed next to each other where plaster is then forced into the gaps to seal the wall.


    Anyways,  he was trying to remove wallpaper or something from the wall and was concerned that whatever he was going to use was going to ruin the lath and plaster wall as well. So, as I was helping him with certain removers he kept asking me if I was sure I knew what I was talking about. Even though I reassured him that i was very knowledgeable about the removers, yet every case is different and he would need to test a small area just in case, I was very sure that the one remover I was showing him would work for him.     No matter how much I stressed this,  he asked if there was an older gentleman associate that could better help him. I told him i was the only associate in the department, and he still wanted me to find an older male associate. Even though Tim is younger than me, he looks a little older and he is a department supervisor who is very knowledgeable, so I called him over and walked into the breakroom to  cool down.  After Tim had helped the customer, he came in and asked what was wrong and I told him and Tim was like, "yeah I don't know much about the removers so I read the labels" and when I asked what he sold him, he answered that he sold him the same exact thing I recommended.                  EXAMPLE #2: This happened just today.  An older woman comes into the store and I am working the service desk. She seems a little flustered and she asks where Louis is. Louis didn't work today and I told her this and then went on the add that I would have the plumbing associate meet her in the department if she wanted to head down there. She quickly agreed that that is what she wanted me to do and then quickly added "but make sure you send a man not a girl." At that point I responded with a look of shock in reaction to how she said it, not so much what she said. I didn't mean to give her that look I was just caught off guard. She saw my face and responded, "oh hun it's not cause you're not cute or anything, its just cause this one girl told me she knew exactly what I was talking about and she looked all over and tried so hard and couldn't find it."        Now, I understand that she may be weary of that same girl helping her, but all females? I highly doubt that she would have said "don't send a man" if one of the male associates were to lead her astray.  Secondly, its really got to me that when she saw that I may have felt slightly offended, her response is that its not because I'm not "cute"... I could care less if Im cute or not because I am aware that my cuteness will not be the guide to your drain cleaners, but my experience here at the depot  and the knowledge of the drain cleaner formulas and type we sell will. And FINALLY, the thing that got to me most was a greater issue than just the doubting a female associates knowledge of the products, or the cuteness that a female should have while working at the depot to make up for the lack of knowledge,  it was the fact that a woman in her 70s who grew up in a time where woman had very little rights and even less respect than a woman does now, would not support her fellow females who are currently struggling in the workforce, especially in a male driven company such as the depot, for respect.
     I am very offended by this assumption that my intellect, not just at the depot, but in life, is any less valid than my male counterpart's.  I believe that I am a very intelligent woman and I know that there varying levels of knowledge. My blog's title "True knowledge is knowing that you know nothing" doesn't just mean that there is much more information in the universe that we, as an individuals, still need to know, but it also means that one person may know everything about one topic another person may know nothing about, yet the second person is still  as intelligent because they may know just as much about another topic of which first knows nothing about. 
    I challenge each and everyone of you readers to never doubt anyones intellect, but if you find that they do not know much about one thing, ask them what they do know about, you might be pleasantly surprised. 
~kro<3

bringing sexy back.... in a couple of months....

          SO... My mother and I joined the gym. It might be an understatement for me to say that since High school I've gained the freshman 15. But saying that I've gained a bunch of weight sounds harsh.... but true.  I plan on meeting with a trainer once a week for a year to try to resolve this issue. The point of the trainer will not only teach me the correct way to work out the parts of my body that need the most work, but also so I have an obligation to someone else other than myself to go to the gym.  I feel as if this is the time in my where its important for me to learn how to take care of my adult body and make losing weight and have a consistent good weight a priority. I mean now that I live with my parents, I'm not really using my money for rent or utilities, so why not use it towards taking care of my body and getting in shape.  Makes sense....right? The point of the trainer will not only teach me the correct way to work out the parts of my body that need the most work, but also so I have an obligation to someone else other than myself to go to the gym. 
       Turns out that working out with my mom is kind of funny, its not like working out with a friend. Although the last time I went to the gym with her I wasn't in a very good mood anyways. Not to mention I didn't bring my gym stuff in my car so I was stuck with what was already in my car, which was a t-shirt and some really short college shorts that rode up sooo far while i was running to make my thighs look even bigger. We went around 4:30pm and I had recently found out the guy I've had a crush on since the day I was able to develop crushes goes to our gym at 5pm every week night. I was really hoping not to see him, but... I did. And didn't he look just as sexy like 10 years later. He's beautiful.
    The point of the last two paragraphs is to discuss the idea that people who feel they need to improve their body by going to the gym are already self conscious about themselves, but its soo hard to work out and be pumped about going to the gym when its probably the place people feel most judged and insecure about their bodies. For one the boys who work out on the weights are usually super studly, and secondly the girls who go to the gym are usually trying to get those boys to notice them OR they are just crazy gym buffs who already look too good to be true.
For me Im just going to push through it and one day I hope those studly boys... aka love of my life... will notice me and I will look too good to be true... ha ha ha
     But really whats important is that I feel good about myself and my health. If im 24 and have gained this much weight, imagine what Id be like 10 years from now if I didn't decide to do something about it. 
     Hopefully this is something I can keep up and make a permanent change. And once I start seeing results Ill feel much better. I want my body back, because this one isn't mine....


I'd like to know how you feel about going to the gym, and maybe even what worked for you in terms of weight loss, or self discipline to go to the gym.  thanks! 


bringing sexy back.... 

All children, except one, grow up. ~Peter Pan

"tell me about the moment when you realized you were no longer a child" 
       a friend suggested as a new topic for my blog. Im not gunna lie, this intrigued me, yet kind of stumped me at the same time. I felt as if this one should be an easy one to discuss, because that moment is something I feel as if Id love to discuss on my blog. So much to say about that switch from child to adult. But, no... I haven't had that moment, and if I had, it was to quick to notice. 
      I don't feel like an adult, and when I've acted like one, its just  pretending. Just like a little girl plays dress up with her mothers high heeled shoes. Im 24 years old and I don't feel like an adult, but Im not a child either. I've always had a certain kind of maturity. My preferred crowd has always been a bit older than myself, and there hasn't been a time that I felt as if I was ever inappropriately immature for my age. Yet, as I enter into an adult world, out of college, making my own life decisions, I feel the same exact way I had when I was 16 learning how to drive, 18 entering into my freshman year of college, and 21 legally purchasing my first drink at a bar in the US. 
      Even though I haven't had that moment may not mean I'll never have it. As of right now I feel like Im in a type of adult limbo. Which may be a good thing. I am still young, and Im ok with that. That means I have time to explore, figuratively and literally. Having this time makes way for joining the Peace Corps an extra 2 years to be in limbo. This takes off the pressure of getting a big girl job with  a big girl family and a big girl attitude.  And if not PC, any other exploring of myself without growing up too fast.
     The reason I haven't  had that moment could be because I live with my parents at the moment. It could also be because I still have a part time job where I am treated like a child. The moment may be delayed because I still have more school ahead of me before I can even get my big girl dream job. What ever reason it is, I know that i have not had it.
     Maybe my moment will be the day I go on that interview for a big girl job of my dreams, or the day my perfect boyfriend proposes, or the day we get married, or even the day that I give birth to my first child. There is even the possibility that I will never have that moment. 
    Does everyone have that moment? And if you have had that moment, was it really a moment, or just the day you felt as if "you NEED to be an adult now... no more playing around."  


I guess I'll try to update you on the status of my moment, but for now, I might just try on my moms heels again.


NIGHT* kro

work friends are weird friends....

            Because I moved back in with my parents, I had to transfer stores. (I work at The Home Depot) I started at my new depot Oct. 18th, so I've been there for about 3 weeks so far. I am perfectly fine being in unfamiliar situations. I'm very outgoing, I have no problem starting conversations and I'm completely comfortable attempting to connect with new people. But, work friends are a certain kind of friends.... What I mean by that is while having a good friendship with someone at work is great, it doesn't mean that they are going to want to hang out outside of work. The work place is a forced atmosphere, where you don't get to choose the people who surround you. You can either sink or swim. Thats why while working with the person you can be the best of the best friends (swimming), but outside of work, you might as well be strangers... or you can choose to be the loner at work and not talk to anyone and ultimately end up hating your job and not making any work related allies (sinking).  
        The reason I bring this up is that the five years I've spent away from home has caused me to not have any friends at home anymore. There are the few that I can't seem to get rid of.... you know who you are, but maybe the reason I have time to write this blog is because there isn't anyone I hangout with on a regular basis. Back at school.... I know almost everyone, and there is ALWAYS someone who wants to accompany you on a late night Walmart trip or even run to the bar for a drink, or two.....or like ten, or any number of activities that take up time. Work seems like a good outlet to meet new people and maybe even form new friendships, especially since most people's lives mostly consist of their jobs and the occasional happy hour that follows. While at my old depot I was fortunate to gain some AMAZING friends and have the time of my life with a few of them, the new depot seems different. 
    As the work days go on, I find myself creating inside jokes with a few of them, knowing how to make them smile or laugh, and even ways to really piss them off, but where does that take me? One of the boys I work with was really nice and invited me to eat lunch with a couple of the guys on my second day there. I made the move today and wrote him a silly little note (right in front of him) with my phone number that said "can we be friends? check yes or no", he jokingly replied, "oh... I'll think about it..." But was it a joke? Or just a kind way of saying, "eh... I like you at work, but thats where our relationship ends."  Who knows, I hope that its the prior rather than the latter, because who doesn't love to get the gang together to go for a drink, or two (.... or ten) after a hard days of work, just to bitch about the other co-workers who weren't invited and the like.


to be continued...

the first nothings I don't know...

Fact: I graduated in May 2010 with a BA in Art History
Fact: I moved back in with my parents October 2010


   I am 24 years old, which means I have only lived about a quarter of my entire life; that leaves three times that amount I have yet to live. I think at this point I have decided to truly embracing a well known quote,  "Why then the world's mine oyster, Which I with sword will open" (Shakespeare's The Merry Wives Of Windsor Act 2, scene 2, 2–5). 
   Many people say, "the possibilities are endless"; I'm not quite sure if that saying is meant to be just an observation, or a promise to one's self of a fulfilling life adventure. My intentions are to take those four words as a promise; a pact I make with myself to not just curl up comfortably in the small corner of the world I have known as my own for the past 24 years, but to see myself as the thick creamy butter I can spread over the warm toasty dinner roll we call Earth.
   From the moment I packed two dorm rooms and four apartments' worth of stuff in my tiny green '97 Saturn and drove the hour and 1/2 north to my parents house, the thought "what to do now..." has been engraved into the future planning section of my brain. From the moment I declared Art History as my major I figured out that my perfect future was to graduate and get into grad school, eventually get my phd in Art History, and be a college professor (along the way find the perfect man get married and have 2 1/2 children and a dog) but... I'm not sure if thats the plan anymore... 
    I miss the old days when the choices we made in life were test runs and if we made the wrong one the consequences weren't so bad. I feel as if now in my mid twenties any choice I make will shape the rest of my life. Thats a heavy load to carry, although I'm sure many of you have had this frightening thought as well. It helps to know that I am not alone in experiencing this feeling, but I alone make these choices for my life an no one else's. 


Current possibilities for near future life plans:
- Grad school for art history
- back to undergrad for interior design
OR (the current front runner)
- The Peace Corps


    Yeah! I said it. I went there. I busted out the PC card... woot woot! The PC card is like the Wild Draw Four card in UNO that you've been dealt from the very beginning but keep it perched nicely in your hand until BAM! you bust it out when the opponent next to you who is about to call UNO on their next turn least expects it. 
   I feel as if PC and I go together like spaghetti and meatballs. For example, the only thing I have ever really wanted to do in life is travel, I don't care where, just anywhere seems so exciting to me. A new place to go is like when you're 5, and you've asked Santa for like 6 months for the pink Barbie convertible and you look under the tree on Christmas morning and there are like 100 boxes (really like 10, but when you're little everything is over exaggerated) that are all a shape and size that could house that very gift, and even though you're looking for that one gift, the other 99 boxes have gifts that you absolutely love and want to play with as well. What I'm trying to get at is that when it comes to a new place I'm like a little kid with a new toy. (See, I get soo excited I start ranting)
       Anyway..... from my little corner of the earth I only have a brief and maybe even skewed knowledge of the rest of the world. Media outlets such as movies idealize places that may be foreign to us as well as over or under exaggerate the cultures or conditions of those places. I am not the kind of person that just takes information and rolls with it. I am a hands on learner. I really need to experience something to gain knowledge of it; proof is in the puddin', can't believe it until i see it, kind of learning. This idea is #3 in the  PC mission statement. 
    #2 in the mission statement is about another country's view on Americans. I'm not really sure how other countries really view Americans. From what I hear we are not too popular. But, regardless of what is being said of how we are portrayed to the rest of the world, its true that we are lucky when it comes to our possibilities of travel. There are way too many countries that are not in good economical standing, and the people who live there do not get the luxury of traveling to the US, let alone to a neighboring country/state/or village. Therefore, it must be true that their knowledge of Americans is just as limited and/or skewed as ours is of them. 
    That being said, I believe I am a pretty well rounded person; I am modest, respectful, and compassionate just to mention a few great things about myself. All kidding aside, I rarely find a person whom I cannot get along with. I honestly believe that I would be a good representative for Americans in another country. ("so did I get the part?" ha ha just kidding) I'm very open minded and in the very limited time I have lived on this earth I've made it a point to approach all situations with an open mind and heart, if anything, they are learning experiences, each and everyone. You can only learn if you allow yourself to be open to the information. 
            The first goal in the mission statement, I feel, is hard not to strive for. If one has the means to improve the life of another, why would someone not offer the aid?  There are so many less fortunate than I, and with all that I am lucky to possess (not just physical material objects) I can only gain more by sharing it with others.  It just seems as if there is no more need for explanation. I have never felt any other way. 
    
   There are so many other reasons why I believe that PC is perfect for me right now.  Maybe ill discuss them in my next entry of things I don't quite know. But for now, its bed time.  GOODNIGHT WORLD*


-KG*